I spy with my eye...

Etta seems to be seeing food in her books lately.

The trees in her Bear in Sunshine book got called edamame.
Well, to be more accurate they were called "ma-ma-ma-ma-may".
She got this from Addie who sometimes calls it "edda-ma-ma--ma-ma-may".
I see the resemblance to edamame in the pod!
Speaking of edamame, I have made a life-altering discovery:
Costco has huge bags of edmame in-the-shell in the freezer section.
But these things are brilliant because inside the big bag are like 10 smaller bags.
You take a small bag and pop it in the micro for 3 minutes and you have perfectly cooked edamame.
I still buy the frozen out-of-pod ones to cook with mac & cheese sometimes.
But these ones are so easy and tasty when plain plus even Etta thinks it is fun to pop them out of their shell

In her Blue Hat, Green Hat she saw a banana ("na-na"). 

Again, I can totally see how the lower half of the hat looks like a banana.

It is pretty cool to me the way she is connecting things in her brain.
She is starting to connect a couple words together too.
The other day she was wanting to go outside to play so she grabbed a pair of my shoes,
dropped them at my feet and said "ma-ma's shews".

Not a baby

Etta is 19 months old tomorrow. In my mind she is clearly a toddler, not a baby. One of my friends argued that she thought Etta could still be considered a baby because:
1) Etta still has some "baby chub" on her arms and such
2) she does not have the words or skills to handle frustrations like another kid having the toy she wants

Reason number 2 is totally true. Totally. But in my mind having a tantrum because you are not getting what you want is very much a toddler trait. And Etta is willful and has those tantrums. I don't remember any tantrums even close to this from  Addie when she was younger. So I still very much learning how to best respond and discipline.

Take today for example:
I worked out at the gym and the girls did fine in childcare except Etta got fussy at the end when it was time to put shoes on. Once I had her out of the room and in my arms she was ok. So I carried her up the large staircase then set her down so she could walk to the car. And all hell broke loose from my adorable child.
[A little background info here. I am trying to get her to walk instead of being carried. Especially since my hips are not great and carrying her makes them worse. Usually I carry her into the gym so we are not super late for the start of their one hour of scheduled childcare. But then I have her walk back to the car after. Sometimes she is totally into it and will even go up the big staircase by herself. But other days...]

I set her down and started walking but she stood still and refused to follow. I walked a few more steps with Addie then stopped to wait for her. She plopped her little butt on the concrete outside the entrance to the gym. [It is in a little covered alleyway (for pedestrians not cars) so is relatively sheltered from the general public and is safe.] And she is wailing. Screaming. Crying. Snot dripping from her nose and puddling on the ground. I tell her she needs to walk. Addie looks at me with concern and asks if we are really going to walk to the car without her. Sweet Addie goes up to her and offers her hand so they can walk together holding hands. Etta screams and pushes her sisters hand away. A few people have come and gone from the gym during this. There is no missing this spectacle and people give looks of sympathy (not always clear if they feel bad for me or for Etta) but politely refrain from giving me parenting tips. Five minutes or so later when Etta's screams have died down some I go up to her and tell her it is time to go to the car. I help her stand up. And she starts running- in the wrong direction- trying to go back into the building. So I pick her up and start walking. Once we get past a driveway I set her down again because she is still screaming and is straining to get out of my arms. She turns around and tries to run away from me and the direction of the car, back towards the driveway and the alley. So obviously for safety reasons at this point she must be carried the whole way. She cried and strained and pushed against me the whole way back to the car. I had an immensely hard time getting her buckled in because she was arching her back and flailing.

Sometimes just the act of us driving will calm her. Once she is in the seat and realized she can not go anywhere but where the car goes, she chills. Not today. Addie was being great and obedient and trying to trouble shoot what was wrong with Etta and really wanting her to hush. And really wanting to go to the park because I told her if it was not raining after gym we could go to a new favorite park so she could get some energy out. I considered just driving home. But then I had a better idea. I drove to the park and got a great spot in the shade right by the swings where Etta could see all the action. I let Addie out of the car and told her I would keep an eye on her from the car and hopefully we would join her soon. Etta had calmed a bit when she saw the park but took up a new wail when she realized Addie was being let out but she was not. I wiped her snotty nose and calmly told her that she could play too once she was calm and done with her fit. I then got back into the drivers seat. Etta was upset to see me sit again and tested out another cry. But when she realized that throwing a fit would not get her time on the swings, she stopped. It was not immediate like a light switch. But she was very aware of the choice she was making.

She ended up having fun at the park and having no lingering traces of the 15 minute tantrum from hell. Like I said though, I am still learning how to deal withe these so welcome advice.

So...
-one cup of coffee spilled on my toddler
-one near-concussion
-one enormous tantrum
it has been an ...eventful... week.

Concussion?

Last night I was on high-alert for signs of a concussion. Matt had been playing fun & wild with the girls while I washed the dinner dishes. Then I heard a loud scream of pain from Addie and an echoing scream from Etta. I ran into the other room. Matt was holding Addie so I picked up Etta to comfort her. Etta was crying because Addie was. Addie was crying because she was climbing on top of the big yoga ball but fell down and hit her head on the ground. Hard.

Matt held her for a few minutes and she was not calming down. I took a turn holding her while Matt got Etta ready for bed. Addie was naked (for reasons known only to her) but was clammy with sweat. Once she calmed down she was saying she was sleepy. Danger! Warning! Do not let your kid fall asleep right after a big fall on their head! She was listless and just wanted to snuggle. Did not want to talk and did not want me to read her a story. Did not even want the yummy dessert that Etta was having.

So of course my mind went to worst case scenario. I googled to find signs of a concussion and I hounded poor Addie about every 5 minutes with questions
-does your stomach hurt? do you feel like you need to throw up?
-are you dizzy?
-are your ears ringing?
-tell me your abc's. tell me about what you were doing when you fell. tell me how to spell your name.
-get up & walk in a straight line for me!

She slowly perked up and regained her energy. She slept normal and seemed perfectly fine today. But I was pretty worried at first because even when she gets hurt bad she is usually able to get over it and move on.

I have clear memories from growing up of my mom yelling"Wally! Don't get the kids so riled  up! Someone is going to get hurt!" As a mom I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying very similar. They could get hurt at any time, but when things get wild and crazy the bumps seem to be bigger and the reactions more extreme.

Just one of those mornings

On Tuesday I worked out at the gym in the morning. Both girls did great in the childcare room and I did not have to be paged to change a diaper or walk Addie to the bathroom, so I had a nice uninterrupted workout. I even monitored my time well enough that I took a quick shower & changed there at the gym. We had 45 minutes until Addie's speech therapy appt so I decided to walk around the corner to Starbucks. I had planned on that possibility and packed my reusable coffee mug. I got my coffee and I got a snack for the girls (a mini donut so they each got about 2 bites of chocolate plus I bought a veggie pasta so they were having a well balanced snack). There was a nice table in back for us and a clean highchair for Etta. Oh, I was having a great mom morning. But pride cometh before the fall. In this case the literal fall... of my coffee... all over Etta. It was my fault. I had not put the lid on my mug and I was reaching to help Etta with something and I accidently knocked against it.

The coffee spilled all over the table, Etta & the floor. Etta started crying (obviously). The Starbucks employees came right away & were great! As I stripped Etta's wet clothes off they inquired how she was, they brought a clean cold cloth for me to put on her skin, they brought a small packet of cooling ointment to put on her, they mopped up the floor and wiped the table and checked again how she was doing. I could tell by her crying that she was upset by the wet and the mess but she was not seriously hurt. The whole time Addie was sitting there, concerned and asking questions but being smart enough to stay out of the way. (She  later made me re-tell the scenario about 10 different times that day.) So Etta was then in a diaper and sweater and calm. I gave the girls a few more minutes to eat then we headed back for the car. I was still frazzled from the whole ordeal. I had only had about 3 drinks of my coffee before it spilled but I graciously declined when they offered to make me a new one because I knew Etta would want to be carried back to the car and I had to carry the diaper bag and my gym bag and Addie would want to hold my hand. I was smart enough to know that adding a hot beverage into that scenario was not wise.

So we are walking back to the car except Addie is stopping about every two steps to fix the velcro on her shoes. So we slowly make our way to the car and I have to put Etta in some spare clothes I have in the back of the car. But she is fighting me and squirming and arching her back when I try to put her in the carseat. I get in the car and realize we are running late for speech therapy (bug surprise!). As I try to plot out the fastest way to get there I am bombarded with questions from Addie.

We  get to to our appt about 7 minutes late. Etta has never been there before but is very disgruntled that Addie is going to do something without her. I get her distracted with toys in the waiting room. Two minutes later Addie is back out because she has to go potty (she tried at the gym when we first got there and I asked her at Starbucks if she needed to go, but no, she held it until now). So she got maybe 20 minutes of therapy in.

Meanwhile Etta is still testing my patience (where is that coffee when you need it?!). She wants to play with a toy that another boy is playing with. The toy is huge and they could both play, but she pulls at his shirt and trys to push him away. He is probably 2 1/2 years old but looks at her like she is a scary bully and he is about to bust into tears. I remove her from the toy, tell her that she can not do that, and try to distract her. She wants the toy still so I decide to give her a second chance at sharing. She goes straight for him and pulls at his shirt again. I remove her and reprimand her and distract her. A little later he is sitting on a chair and Etta goes toward him and leans over. I am afraid she is going to bite him or something (even though she is not a biter), instead she gives him a hug (since he is sitting, her head is about at his crotch). Again he looks as if he is going to cry. I tell her that was sweet of her but not everyone likes hugs. He looks at her, looks at the crotch of his pants. He stairs at his pants. A minute later he points to the crotch of his pants and says "I'm wet". Oops, Etta had slobbered him when hugging him! His mom thought it was funny, but I think he might not be thrilled to see Etta in the waiting room again any time soon.
(and in case you are thinking she is acting out because she is in pain from the coffee: I checked her body numerous times over the day and saw not one speckle of discolored skin after we left the coffee shop. She is fighting a cold though so she might just have been grumpy from that)

Lessons I learned:
-always drive straight to the appt, then if there is time walk to a coffee shop very close by
-always put the lid on the coffee
-when offered a new coffee, say yes because chances are you truly need the boost
-throw out those shoes of Addie's because the velcro never stays closed and she does not walk good in them
-be grateful that most weeks Etta does not have to go to therapy with us and instead gets to play at home with her Aunt Lori or Grandma Karen

I'm sorry, mommy just can't understand you

I started this post back in Feb. I had written a few hefty paragraphs then my finger accidentally hit the wrong key and everything disappeared. Even though Matt was readily available, nothing could be done to retrieve them (much to my muttering & extreme annoyance). So here is another attempt.

I thought of titling the post "therapy for Addie" and saying how my calendar now includes weekly therapy sessions. But then breaking the news that I was referring to speech therapy not a psychotherapist and although Addie one day may claim I have screwed her up for life and she needs therapy, we have not hit that milestone. Then I decided against being melodramatic, but I still wanted to share those tendencies :)

So anyways, I have started taking her to speech therapy. She actually really enjoys it so far.The room we meet our therapist in is purple (score!) there are dolls and play kitchens, and she gets a sticker at the end. Even though she is being corrected & being taught, it is in the context of play enough that she is receptive and willing. I have been sitting to the side during the sessions and I get tears in my eyes numerous times throughout.Not because I am sad because my child is receiving "special" services. But because she is trying hard and having a good attitude about it and it warms my heart.

Some of you may be surprised to hear she is getting speech therapy because to you she sounds like a typical 2 or 3 year old. Others may have secretly been thinking for months that she is impossible to understand and you know other kids even younger than her that speak much clearer. Both may be true. She has some sounds "l" "r" and "th" that she can not pronounce, but that is not considered a speech delay because it often takes until kids are 5 years old or so for them to develop the muscle tone to make those sounds. However, she also has some other speech tendencies that make her hard to understand.

This all started back in Feb or so when her preschool teacher gently recommended that I have her pediatrician listen to her and decide whether speech therapy might be recommended.  Addie's teacher was specifically concerned that Addie being difficult to understand could impede her socialization as she moved up to the 3-5's preschool class next year. If the big kids can't understand her, they may just walk away instead of interacting and playing with her. And that could be really disheartening to Addie because she really looks up to big kids and likes interacting with them. And I, of course, as her mom want her to be liked and have lots of friends. But I did not start speech therapy services for popularity reasons. I started them because Addie loves to talk and has a huge vocabulary and I want people to be able to understand her, not just listen & nod politely. Even I, as the person who sees and listens to her most, have numerous times each day when she says a word and no matter how much she repeats herself I just can not understand it.

The first step was to go to Addie's pediatrician. She talked with me about my concerns then showed Addie some flash cards and had her say what she saw in the pictures. The pediatrician said it was clear that Addie was doing consonant blurring and that she needed services for sure, but that it should be an "easy fix". So she said my next step should be calling the school district to get her evaluated.

Once kids turn 3 year old, there are free services available to them through the school district. Or there are hypothetically. The truth is they can only take a small percentage of kids: the kids who most desperately need it and are incredibly difficult to understand. Addie does not fit that. Then again, they never listened to her, they just asked me questions. And we all know that self report can be very flawed. So now that she has been evaluated by a private clinic, I need to call the school district back and push to have them evaluate her based on their findings.

After the lady from the school district talked to me, I was just going to let things be. She made it sound like Addie would attain these sounds as she got older and her muscle tone improved. She answered my questions and gave me some advice on how to gently help Addie with the consonant blurring. So I felt good after that call: hooray! my child is fine, she does not need special services, just wait and let her develop. But the more I thought about it, the less satisfied with that I was. The people who know her and see her daily have a hard time understanding her some of the time, the people who don't see her often can have a really hard time understanding her, her pediatrician and preschool teacher feel she needs services. So why was I paying most attention to the "expert" who never even listened to her?

Come to find out, our insurance covers speech therapy up to a certain dollar amount each year as long as the kid is under 5. So that gave me a new option: private services. I scheduled a playdate with Addie & Etta's friend Maya because her mom Jamie has a degree in speech therapy from UW. I figured she could listen to Addie and either calm my fears and tell me that I had nothing to worry about and Addie would grow into (and out-of) her speech issues, or she would suggest that I pursue services (and that would calm me as well because I would have yet another voice encouraging me to advocate for my child). And the later was the case. Jamie graciously gave me some referrals and some reassurance.

I did a little research and found a place in Wallingford that accepts our insurance and had a time slot that works for us. Addie was evaluated in the beginning of May and has been going for half an hour once a week. She loves it! She looks forward to it, she practices her homework during the week, she works hard during her sessions and she even has fun! We have not yet gotten the first insurance statement for it so I am curious how the charges work out. I am not sure how long she will be in services, but here are her therapy goals:

#1-Addie will independently produce /s/ and s-blends in all word positions at conversation level in 90% of opportunities across two sessions.
#2-Addie will independently include final consonants at sentence level in 90% of opportunities across two sessions.
#3-Addie will independently produce /r, l/ in all word positions at conversation level in 80% of opportunities across two sessions.
#4-Addie will independently use the appropriate form of is, are, have and has at conversation level in 80% of opportunities across two sessions.
#5-Addie will independently use appropriate pronouns and possessive pronouns at conversation level in 80% of opportunities across two sessions.

I know that goals 4 and 5 seem like more of a grammar issue than a speech issue and it may seem silly to have an expert teach her things that she should be able to learn from me. But (and forgive me for my clunky explanation of this) her therapist thinks that it is not that Addie does not know the rules, but that she has kind of created her own (and this is part of the reason why it is so good to get her services now before these become any more entrenched). So her mouth is used to saying things a certain way and it is simply easier for her to keep saying them that incorrect way. Learning to articulate difficult sounds like /l/ requires using the muscles of the mouth a certain way and practicing that more and more creates new neural pathways until it is easy for her. It is the same with saying "I" instead of "me", it takes practice for her to make it a habit and so right now it is just easier for her to keep doing it the incorrect way. Another example: since she can not make the /th/ sound, she drops it from words: so "that" becomes "at". This makes it difficult for people to understand her. So we are working on her using a different sound as a placeholder so her brain gets used to there being a sound there and it will be easier to replace the incorrect sound once she is able to make the /the/ sound. ("vat" sounds closer to "that" and will help her be understood until she can clearly say "that")

I like these goals because they are so tangible. But when I look at them realistically I know it will take months before we reach any of them. She does good with her homework sheets: for example they have her practice s-blends (stove, store, storm) but she does not produce those sounds at conversation level at all, it is only when looking at her specific homework words.

So there you go. Addie is in therapy and we are all happy about it :)

Spring Showers

Well, as we all know: the sunny days won't last long in Seattle.

I woke to the sound of rain this morning.

Don't worry, we did not let that stop us from wearing our swimsuits and jumping in the pool...
The indoor heated pool up in Mountlake that is! We had so much fun at the co-op pool party there that we decided to go back. And then we got back home and Matt turned back around and went to the pool again...
to get the swimsuits I left behind. Oops! At least I packed them there and we were able to play in the pool. It would have been a big bummer if I forgot them at home. I am actually not surprised I left them; between life jackets and goggles and towels and combs it seems like something is bound to get forgotten. What better thing than the wet suits that we took off in the showers there?! (Confession: this is not the first time Matt kindly retrieved a swimsuit I left behind at a pool.)

We did not take any pictures today, but here are some from the co-op pool party.

Spring Sun

The weather was predicted to hit 70 so Seattle responded appropriately: pull out the shorts, the sandals, the sundresses, the sunblock, and hit the parks and beach!

Matt & I pulled the playhouse out of its cramped garage spot.

 I happened to still have my camera in hand and was walking a few steps behind Etta when she took a tumble. So I snapped a picture.

Addie especially has been finding that warm weather means more bumps and bruises. Wearing shorts exposes the knees. Wearing sandals provides a little more open-toe tripping experience. Good thing there are cute bandaids in the cupboard!

Mothers Day weekend

On Friday Addie gave me a plant in a clay planter that she had painted.

On Saturday Matt took the girls out for a bike ride (their first time sharing the bike trailer). When they returned, Addie knocked on the door and when I answered she said "Happy Mothers Day" and gave me tulips. That night Matt & I went to the PNA auction, some of the proceeds of which help benefit our co-op.

Today we went to Discovery Park for a walk then Red Mill for burgers and fries. When we were getting the girls dressed beforehand, I got to pull the "it's mothers day and this would make me happy" statement out a few times in choosing the girls shirts and doing their hair: coordinating big sister/little sister shirts and pigtail loops in their hair (sorry, no pictures of their cuteness this time). Addie did a great job walking at the park and also did a lot of balancing on logs. Etta showed off her winning smile and friendly attitude by repeatedly saying hi to anyone within shouting distance (especially the kindergarten age girls at the table behind us).

It was a nice relaxed weekend. I sure love being mom to these two fabulous girls!

Etta's 18 month stats

Weight: 23 lbs (30%)
Height: 31 (35%)
Head: 18 1/2 (75%)

I have started pulling out the 24 month and 2t clothes for Etta. As I pull them out I think "how are you big enough for these? It seems like Addie just outgrew them!" Which I know isn't technically true because Addie was in size 3 clothes by 2 1/2 so she probably started wearing the 24 month even before 18 months since she is so tall. But it does feel like the time has gone by fast.

A family gathering at Myron & Lori's house

Sunday was a fun, busy day for us. Church in the morning of course, then after abbreviated naps we got together with Matt's family. Then mid-way through that we left for a co-op pool party, then re-joined the family. Becka & Ellie were in town so it was great to see them, but I think the kids all gave Maya the dog more attention then they gave each other :)

Myron & Lori's old apartment was not a viable option for Marston family get-togethers. But their new house worked great for the group of us this weekend!

The co-op pool party was a blast! The pool was amazingly kid friendly and both girls just come alive in the water. There was a lazy river, there was more than one shallow pool with a padded floor that kids Addie's height could stand on, there were fountains and lots of play toys and even big floating mats that the kids could walk along then jump off of into the water (or the arms of a waiting parent). We will definitely be returning for more pool fun!

Getting pictures of multiple kids is never easy, even if they are all awake, well fed and in decent moods. Here are a few attempts to get the cousins in a picture together.

Notice that Addie takes on the caregiver/oldest cousin role. When we play make-believe at home she either pretends she is Lion's mommy or she pretends she is a baby & I am her mommy. Today she was being a baby but then pretended to pump milk from her own boobs for herself (baby Addie) to drink. Funny & disturbing at the same time.

Silly girls

Just a few cute shots from the past week or two...

Etta enjoying her berry-delish breakfast

(no she does not have a gap between her two front teeth like Matt, it is just a berry seed!)

Addie fighting fires outside in her boots and tutu

These two can sure be friends/enemies.

They love copying each other (in fun behavior as well as naughty).

If one has a toy, the other automatically wants it.

They are starting to want to wear the others clothes: 

Addie's tshirts become dresses on Etta, Etta's dresses become shirts on Addie 

(I failed to get a picture of this yesterday, but Addie decided they will do a sharing system: 

one gets to wear it, it gets washed, then the other gets a turn).

They also can entertain each other & have fun together. 

Today Addie was making Etta into a pizza (rolling her out, sprinkling toppings on, etc).

Did I mention that they fight? Etta pulled out a huge chunkful of Addie's hair last week.

(Which actually reminded me of my fights with my little sister growing up)

Sisters for life, friends sometimes!