Made me laugh

So our co-op has a book fair coming up this Sat. I was on Amazon perusing books so I could have a list of what I am looking for at the book store. (Yes, the books are cheaper on Amazon. But that does not support our co-op nor does it support a local business. Often I ignore this fact, but not this week.)

Anyways I was looking at some ABC books and Potty books and was remembering some that Addie liked from the library. I remembered the Potty Train book and glanced at reviews. The first review had me laughing so hard I had tears coming out my eyes and snot coming out my nose. That does not happen often these days, so when it does it is memorable.

Here is the review:
I should start by saying my daughter loves this book. But it isn't helping her understand a damn thing about the potty, and in fact seems to be setting up rather bizarre expectations about what is possible and achievable on the toilet. Two main problems: 

1) First of all, the text really doesn't make any sense. I don't mean to get all English-major on it, but the metaphors are wholly inconsistent. Kids are literalists. This book is a poorly-conceived metaphor. Not a good combo. Climb aboard the potty train = sit on the potty, right? So what do we make of the fact that "soon you'll be riding the potty train all night"? Given the way the metaphor has been set up, this would imply that soon, the child to whom the book is addressed will be sitting all night on the toilet. I find that a worrisome threat rather than something to look forward to. If you ride the potty train, you will be stricken with dysentery? 

2) The pictures are as nonsensical as the text. When the child poops ("chugga-chugga Poo poo" --this is, apparently, the supreme goal of sitting on the potty), they are to wash hands. Great. But the picture is of the child being sprayed with water, and his companions, an elephant and a giraffe, are being sprayed with water. The giraffe is being sprayed in the face. What did the giraffe do to require a face wash? The accompanying text reads "it feels good to be clean and dry." Dry? So we soak ourselves? Other bizarre and alarming pictures include that accompanying the text "the potty train keeps chugging along", illustrated by the train on a track leading into what appears to be a giant twisty sewer pipe. The boy on the potty looks thrilled, but the giraffe looks suitably alarmed. I try to skip over this one so my child doesn't dwell on the looming dark tunnel of waste into which her potty training experience will inevitably lead her. 

Today I tried to explain the metaphor to my child. "You're sitting on the potty train." To which she replied, with a wistful note in her voice, "no. I'm just sitting on the potty." Oh, the disappointment. 

Seriously. Avoid this book. if your child decides to like it and think about it, it may just derail your "potty train." There are better ones out there. 


Anyone else laughing?!