Crash!

Sorry I don't have any pictures to share but I will tell you all about the crash. We are not talking a mess in the kitchen or some home fix-it project gone bad. We are talking about a car crash with me and the girls and our car that had to be towed.

Yesterday morning we went into Ballard to the gym, then to the park since the weather was decent. We headed towards home around 11:15 so we could have lunch. I was heading east on 80th. A white car was heading west on 80th. 80th is a 2-lane road with a dividing line but there was no stop sign or light at this point. So I am not sure what motivated the driver of the car to turn when he did, but he made a left onto a side street, or more accurately he made a left into the front driver-side of my car. The impact and noise made it clear that this was no little fender-bender. We both pulled over onto the side street (Dibble).

When I attempted to get out of the car I realized some of the extent of the damage, since my door would not open. I put the window down at first to talk briefly to a witness and the other driver. But I was frazzled and really worried about the girls. The girls did great through this whole ordeal. They were a little scared and nervous after the crash but not crying or fussing. Addie was more aware of the potential danger and wanted to be out of the car. Etta wanted to stay in the car because it was warmer than outside. I searched around in the glovebox, found my insurance info and started to write things down. When I climbed over to the passenger seat to get out I was able to see how bad my car was smashed up. The hood was dented up. The headlight was missing and the front drivers side totally smashed in. I am not sure if the alignment got screwed up, but things above the front drivers tire were so bent out of whack that they were hanging down and scraping against the tire. I briefly considered trying to drive it home since I was only like 10 blocks from home and it would be simpler to get towed from home because then the girls & I would already be safely there. But I did not trust that it would be safe to drive.His car was scraped-up on the front bumper and there was a hissing sound come from under his hood. But nothing visibly broken or dented.

The driver of the other car was concerned and apologetic. He was a young guy who just graduated from college. He was driving to a relatives house right on the corner of 80th & Dibble. (So they heard the crash and realized what happened and said "Oh Jakey!") After I made all my calls to Matt and insurance and the tow truck and the repair shop, I went over to his car to give him a little update. He invited us into his relatives house there on the corner. So we went in so the girls could use the potty. Then they saw a fishtank so "Jakey's" aunt showed the girls the fish. Then an uncle gave the girls little packages of goldfish crackers and pulled two little kid chairs in front of the tv that they had turned to cartoons for the girls. So I sat for a minute and the 91 year old grandma told me about a birthday party they had for her last night. The tow truck came and an uncle came out with me and helped me move the car seats to his car while the girls stayed inside with their snacks. The car got towed away and an aunt drove us home while telling stories of how her husband grew up in this neighborhood. I apologized for our muddy shoes in their sparking clean Lexus SUV and she brushed off the apology and made it clear they were happy to help and not concerned about the car. She complimented me more than once on how sweet the girls were. (I guess Addie said something about how her shoes were dirty/sandy from playing at the park and she should not have them on in the house). They were so incredibly kind and thoughtful. They are one of the things I am so grateful for.

There are so many things I am incredibly grateful for in all of this. I am grateful that it was not raining. I am grateful that none of us were hurt (I woke up with a really stiff, soar neck this morning that is most likely due to it. And Addie has some slight red marks from the carseat straps rubbing into her shoulders. But that is all I am aware of and it is so minor.) I am grateful that a witness wrote down her info on a piece of paper. (Our insurance already talked to her and she corroborated my telling of events so according to them liability is the other drivers).

You know what never crossed my mind in all of this? Calling the police! Maybe it would have been good because then they could have looked at the scene. But someone went out with a broom right away to clear all the broken headlight parts of the street, and we were able to pull to the side street so we were not blocking anything. So although it may have been a wise thing to do, it also would have been one more phone call and person to wait for. I just wanted to get the girls safely home and have Matt help me deal with all the details.

I had to put in numerous calls to our insurance and get transferred around and put on hold. But after talking to the witness they agree that liability is the other drivers. I called his insurance to see where things were at and realized he never made a claim. Which is really surprising to me since he was on the phone a lot during all this. I assumed he called. So I had to start from scratch with his insurance and did not get very far since it was a Friday evening. But all things considered, it would be better to go through his insurance for the repairs so that we do not have to pay our deductible. But first his insurance needs to get his story and talk to the witness and determine liability. So our insurance is farther along in the process but nothing is happening over the weekend with either.

So the car got towed to the shop. Matt took the bus from work and went to the shop and figured out a rental car for us. Except it is not really figured out because our coverage does not include rental cars (mental note, might be a good time to re-evaluate our insurance coverage). So I guess we are hoping that the other insurance will cover it. Because the estimate is $8,000+ for repairs. So the repairs needed are extensive and rental car costs will add up in the mean-time. Matt says that is about equal to the blue book value of the car. We were about one month away from buying a mini-van. Although we really liked our little car and we saw the benefit of having two cars once we have 3 kids, at this point we would not mind if the car could just be considered totaled and we could take the money and use it towards a van. I don't know the likelihood of that. Our insurance put a call into the shop since they had not seen the estimate yet. But that was like 5pm on Friday. And of course we are not expecting much to happen over the weekend. So we are on hold. Should we be van shopping this weekend so we do not need to keep this rental for long?

I keep trying to replay it in my head and think if there was something I could have done differently. What if I had slammed on my breaks sooner? There was a van about 2 car lengths behind me, would it have slammed into me if I did that? What if I veered to the right when I realized what was happening? Would that just have made the impact on the side of the car instead of the front and potentially harmed Etta or I? I was aware that the white car was slowing down or stopped, so I assumed he wanted to make a turn.  I had the right-of-way so had no reason to stop, but should I have realized that not only did he want to turn but he was not waiting? I can not even remember all the details and all my actions. Was his blinker on? Did I break? So much of driving is anticipating what the other cars are doing and being aware of everything going on. I was not distracted while driving this stretch of road. Not texting, or giving a snack to the girls or fiddling with the music. There are times when I realize I am not giving my full attention to the road, or when I know there is a hill that cars come up and it can be hard to see them until the last moment. This was not one of those times.

It sucks that it happened. But for all the driving so many of us do, it seems amazing that we do not get into accidents more.

Baby bump update

The bump is more noticeable these days. Especially now that I am forced to wear both pregnancy shirts & pants. It is kind of cruel that as much as you try to ease into wearing maternity clothes, the second you leave the house in them your bump looks about twice as large! When I was pregnant with Addie I was really excited for people to notice that I was pregnant. I think when I was pregnant with Etta I was just resigned to the fact that I showed earlier and I did not care much. For some reason I feel more self-conscious about this bump. Maybe because I already have two kids and I worry that people think things like "3 kids, really?". Or if Addie & Etta are not being well behaved I feel like that proverbial mom of numerous undisciplined kids who no one wants to be around. But they are good girls. The next post will mention that more.

For now, on to pregnancy dreams (or lack of). I remember having pregnancy/birth/baby dreams with both girls. But I do not remember how early they started. A fellow co-op mom has a 2 year old girl and is due with baby #2 this July. Even before she had her anatomy ultrasound she was convinced the baby was a boy due to all the strange dreams she was having. And she was right! I had my first birth dream last night. It may have been brought on by lingering anxiety from something that happened yesterday. That will be my next post. But what I remember about the dream is that I was in the hospital in a labor room and I did not feel great, but I knew the baby was not ready to be born yet. I was there for quite a while and there was a big group of nurses, family, etc there with me. Finally someone checked and said I was only dilated to 2. The Dr then started to leave the room to get some drug or something to help speed things along. But I got up and said "I'm leaving now. I'll be back when I am ready to push. I have done this twice before, I know what I am doing." And I left. The dream, I am sure, was longer and more detailed but that is what stuck with me.

Here is a picture of my handsome nephew Bennett to stick with you.

And for those who are curious, Myron & Lori found out they are having a girl.

We find out gender on the 11th.

Baby Bennett

Addie & Etta are happy to announce the birth of their newest cousin:

Bennett Marston was born yesterday!

We look forward to seeing pictures of cousin Ellie meeting her new little brother!

Bumper Bowling

Addie had her first experience at a bowling alley yesterday.

Except she almost didn't have it because I thought the party started at 2. Actually it ended at 2. I am sure I join a vast group of parents who have made that mistake. Usually I am more on top of it though. What can I blame it on... my pregnancy? our chickenpox case? some school stuff that has been on my mind? the fact that I was making a fairly time-consuming and specific triple layer coconut cake plus an entree for bookclub (which was originally supposed to be at my house but relocated due to the pox)? All those things might have played a small part, but really I was just not on top of planning for it like I should have been. We bought the present a week ago, which was good. But I knew Matt would be taking Addie, not me, since I would be busy in the kitchen. And I guess I was not as concerned about timing and driving directions as I would have been had I been the driver.

Speaking of driving directions, last week there was a field trip downtown for Addie's class. It fell on my work day so I got to go. The class took the city bus. I opted to take the car. Both because Addie got a bit queezy on the last bus-trip downtown and had to get off early with her teacher so she did not puke. And because I get queezy on bus trips. So I drove. But I spent what was probably a laughable amount of time on the computer planning out the best place to park. Parking garages were like $16 for 2-3 hours. No way was I going to pay that. There was some street parking, but how much circling would I have to do to find a legal spot? Matt reminded me of a good place to find metered parking. So I had my driving directions, my parking plan, and my walking route - I was set! But then I made the mistake of under-paying the meter and realizing that it printed a slip for 1 hour and we needed more like 2 - 2 1/2. But since they are not coin meters, there is no way to add time on. So I had to swipe my credit card again and start over (since it is not like I could leave the kids in 1 hour to go back and start a new slip).  So I did not pay the $16 I was trying to avoid, but I did pay more than I needed to due to a silly mistake. But we got there in time and had fun.

Just like Addie had fun yesterday (even if she was not exactly on time).

I guess afterwords she saw the attached store that sold shoes and such and was curious about bowling and had questions such as:
-do people bowl at their houses? (because why else would they buy their own shoes and ball?)
-is there a bowling class? (where people can go & bowl the whole time?)

She even got a cool personalized bowling birthday party t-shirt!

Some interesting tidbits about chicken pox & the vaccine

as cut & pasted from Wikipedia (my side notes are in italics)

Population-based immunization against varicella is not otherwise practiced in the UK. It is feared that there would be a greater number of cases of shingles in adults, until the vaccination was given to the entire population—because adults who have had chickenpox as a child are less likely to have shingles in later life if they have been exposed occasionally to the chickenpox virus (for example by their children). This is because the exposure acts as a booster vaccine.

Research suggests that widespread vaccination against chickenpox, now common in the United States, may lead to a significant increase in shingles among the elderly.

Additional controversy has arisen because cell lines derived from aborted fetal tissue were used in its development, and thus violates the ethics and beliefs of people who oppose the use of aborted fetal tissue in medical research.

Catching "wild" chickenpox as a child has been thought to commonly result in lifelong immunity. Indeed, parents have deliberately ensured this in the past with "pox parties". Historically, exposure of adults to contagious children has boosted their immunity, reducing the risk of shingles. (Hooray! All those snuggles & kisses I have given to Etta lately will have a long-term health benefit for me!)

The CDC and corresponding national organisations are carefully observing the failure rate which may be high compared with other modern vaccines - large outbreaks of chickenpox having occurred at schools which required their children to be vaccinated

and regarding "pox parties":

The first reference to such a practice is an early-eighteenth century letter by Lady Montagu to Sarah Chiswell describing parties held in Istanbul for the purpose of variolation—an effective technique for gaining immunity to smallpox.^[40] Lady Montagu imported variolation to England.

Historically, smallpox parties and other forms of controlled inoculation reduced significantly the death rate due to smallpox (see Variolation). With the introduction of a smallpox vaccine, inoculations of wild smallpox virus fell into disuse.

Similarly, the rubella party was sometimes considered a rite of passage for pubescent females after the link between rubella infections early in pregnancy and severe birth defects was established, but before the development of effective rubella immunizations. (smart ladies! they exposed themselves so they could protect their future babies)

When the exposure involves the United States Postal Service to swap contaminated items, the practice is illegal. (So I will not be mailing any pre-sucked lollipops your way!)

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I am not trying to get on an anti-vaccine soapbox. I have completed a lot of vaccines for my girls. I just don't do them necessarily  in the recommended order and I would rather schedule an additional doctors visit than give my kid two vaccines on the same day. The chicken pox vaccine was a low priority for me. The mortality rate for chicken pox versus something like measles is very different. When briefly discussing it tonight, Matt did point out that I have the girls get the flu shot. And complications from the flu are quite low (so are complications from the flu shot by the way). So some people might question how I make these decisions. All I have to say is, I do think about it and have my reasons. 

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And an update on Etta: she is seeming to be less itchy & irritable and she is falling sleep faster. Hooray! 

Still no symptoms from Addie.

Pox Part Anyone?

You are welcome to come have a chicken pox party at our house. We will be getting mighty stir-crazy so company is welcome :)

We did not intentionally expose Etta, but I did make the choice not to get the vaccine. I am making sure she shares food and cups with her sister, because if one has it both might as well. Matt thinks I am a bit cruel.

I do want to warn you that it is not pleasant to see your beloved child with nasty red bumps all over their face and to hear them whimpering because they are itchy/ouchy. They also don't sleep well.

Anyone interested?!

New Car

I was so excited to look out the kitchen window this morning and gaze at our shiny new set of wheels.



Just kidding, not really our car.
We will need a new car.
And it will need to be bigger. But hopefully not that long!

It cracked Matt & I up. We saw it sitting there for about half an hour
and due to the tinted windows we could not tell if anyone was in it.
Had it been there all night?
Did someone steal it for a joy-ride then abandon it (nicely parked & without a scratch)?
Nope, I think someone needed their 8am limo ride.
Seriously? To work?
I assume the ride was not for someone in our neighborhood but that it was a
convenient spot to pull-over and kill a little time before their punctual arrival at the pick-up spot.

Taking dollie for a walk

A dad snapped this shot of Etta at co-op today. I was not in class most of the time, but I heard she was being pretty silly.

She told me the goggles were sunglasses. So really there is nothing strange about the picture. If it were at home she would be wearing Addie's tights, multiple skirts or dresses, a swimsuit, etc to complete her look.